A time comes in your life when you finally get it . . . When in the midst of
all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the
voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or
struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind
tantrum,your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink
back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the
world through new eyes. This is your awakening.

You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to
change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next
horizon.You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and
you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always
fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee
of"happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process a sense of
serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will
always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are . . . and that's
OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the
importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process a sense of
new found confidence is born of self-approval.You stop complaining and
blaming other people for the things they did to you(or didn't do for you)
and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.
You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say
and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always
about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself
and in the process a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they
are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the
process a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness.You realize
that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a
result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your
psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how
you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh, what
you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive, how and
where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should
marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and
raising children or what you owe your parents.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you
begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand
for.You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to
discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have
bought into to begin with and in the process you learn to go with your
instincts. You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that
there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop
maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

Your learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the
outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the
foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything; it's not your job to save the
world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish
between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries
and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you
choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how
much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn
not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn
that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or
important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would
have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.You
learn that just as people grow and change so it is with love . . . and you
learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms just to
make you happy.

And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely . . . And you look in the
mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a
perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head
and agonizing over how you "stack up." You also stop working so hard at
putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK ... and that it is
your right to want things and to ask for the things that you want and that
sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with
love,kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. And,
you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you with
his touch . . . and in the process you internalize the meaning of
self-respect.

And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care of
it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking
more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue
diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time
to rest.

And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more
time to laugh and to play. You learn, that for the most part, in life you
get what you believe you deserve . . . and that much of life truly is a
self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that
wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it
happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need
direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it
all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help. You learn that the only
thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time. FEAR
itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know
that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give
away the right to live life on your terms.

And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a
cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't
always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen
to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to
personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to
answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with
evil in its most primal state -- the ego. You learn that negative feelings
such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they
will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds
you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of
walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple
things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth
can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm
bed,a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you
make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle
for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your
window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep
smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a
stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to
as best as you can.